I’m a Grand Multipara! Am I really Old?
Birth is interesting in that what we remember from our birth experiences may be the small moments or the odd things people say. You can never know what will stick. It is a pivotal time in a mothers life and the experience is so intense and emotional and meaningful that I can remember some moments from my first births over 10 years ago like they happened just yesterday. Something that I remember hearing so clearly in the course of my daughters birth was the tone in the voice of the hospital nurse what she read on my chart that I was a “Grand Multipara”. I somehow felt so old! I was a GRAND ma of birthing people! And I was only 28 years old when I had my 6th child.
Birthing people hear these concerns in a variety of areas - your over 35, you’re over 40, you have already had a cesarean birth, you can’t do it this way or that way because you have missed the boat in some way. And in general that is just not the case. Finding that right provider with the expertise that you need is usually the first response when I see increased risk factors in my clients. Can we find the specialist to support you so that you can have a safe a birth as possible with the fewest interventions.
Fast forward five years… I have now had my seventh son and I worried about my dreams to have a home birth because of all that I had heard from my OBGYN about being a “grand multipara”. Would I risk out of my home birth… would I hemorrhage? Yet, I found the midwife duo that had experience in large families and that I felt could could guide me through the home birth process with a knowledge and understanding of my safety and increased risk factors yet still with the confidence and experience that I was just a variation of normal and nothing was wrong with me. Celebrating the differences that make us unique and special and appreciating that complexity while also holding a trust that there is almost always a way and we can find the answers for us. Regardless of if we aren’t the norm. There is no perfect way… no perfect time.. no perfect person without any risks… Our stories are imperfectly perfect.
